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Invalid Reality (Strike One) – 8/24/18
Do not tell me it’s not real
Do not push your accidental
Patriarchal bullshit on me
You see
I will not allow you to invalidate me
To tell me that when my body shakes
And my nerves quake
It’s not real
Growing up
They told us to suck it up
Kids these days
What’s an emotional support animal anyway?
Be wary, friend
Because your generation is not mine
And I have reason to believe
That maybe there was something in our water
After Flint
How can you not
With children screaming for their mothers
And crying for their fathers
And now, they’re without their bottles
Look
There’s a lot of fucked up shit in this world
Enough so
That whenever there’s another Trayvon Martin
I look both ways before I walk outside
I learned while living in the south for four years
To dance like crazy down the street
Because no one will bother you then
There are times
When I wonder
Why I’m so anxious about everything
And nothing
All at the same time
Days when I think about what might happen
If I stop taking my meds for one day
Is the pain that runs through my body like a dagger
Still real?
Or was it psycho-somatic all along
I’m tired
Of invalidation
And feeling like my invisible illnesses
Are nothing more
Than figments
Of my broken imagination
The next time
You think you know
What anxiety feels like
Try smiling every time
You’re pouring poison down your throat
Every time
You walk across a street
Or pass a lingering unmarked SUV
Oh wait
You can’t
Because you’re white
And I’m Black
And your anxiety
Is not holding you back
The next time
Someone tries
To invalidate my body
My health
Everything that makes me real
I’ll tell them
To listen to how I feel